An Innocent Kid Named Katie
I have come to realize that growing up in my family I lived a fairly sheltered life. Even though I grew up with those ten brothers, I really wasn’t exposed to anything too shocking as a young kid. I grew up protected from most of the foul things that happen in the world. I didn’t know about perverts back then. I wouldn’t have even understood the word as a kid. I had the freedom to ride my bike around town and didn’t have to worry about much of anything except getting my chores done and doing my homework. I always felt like I really was emotionally immature when I went to college as the lessons I learned during college went far beyond the walls of a classroom.
I went to Michigan State University in the fall of 1973. Life for me at MSU was idyllic. When I was a senior I remember thinking that my life at MSU was like living under a glass bubble. Of course I was oblivious to the serial rapist and killer that were stalking students because MSU didn’t want the bad press. Regardless of that issue of safety, I always felt like college life was some kind of utopia.
While at MSU, I was introduced to so many different people from all over the world. I worked at the International Center in the cafeteria, so I really enjoyed all of the different people I met. In the two towns that I lived when I was in elementary and high school, I never really came in contact with anyone unusual but a few exchange students. It was rare to come across anyone of color. We were all white. I remember when I was in seventh grade a black girl came to our school. I remember people said she was “Mulato” which was supposed to mean she was of mixed race, black and white. However, back then no one would have used the term “black”. In my memory I thought the girl was beautiful as she was so pretty. I never spoke to her. I just remember this weird thought about that beautiful girl and find it interesting by the lack of exposure I had as a kid.
In my world I lived in the greatest country in the world because I had been told that ever since I could remember. We all have been told that for as long as I can remember. My parents were FDR democrats that loved President Kennedy, the first Catholic president. We were Catholic, so of course we loved Kennedy! I briefly remember my world being shattered when Kennedy was assassinated. I remember sitting in my third grade classroom when I found out the news. It was traumatic but even then I was still innocent to what I believed in our government.
In high school I really loved politics. I came from a family that talked about politics a lot! It was during the Nixon years and all of that corruption was fascinating to me. You might think I could have lost my innocence then, you know when Nixon really was a “crook” even though he said he wasn’t! His Vice President had to resign because he was corrupt. He pled “no contest” with the condition that he resigns from office! Do you all remember Spiro T. Agnew? That was a juicy time for politics with everything going on with Watergate and the ending of the Vietnam War. You would think my innocence would have been lost during that time but it wasn’t. I always thought we were the best, bravest, smartest country in the world.
Oh, yes, I fell for every propaganda piece I was raised with from the celebration of “Columbus Day” to “Thanksgiving” to periods in our history that are really highly tainted with our land grab from the Indians! I loved the fact; yes I said, “Fact” that we always were there to “help” other countries, especially those “developing” countries. You know the ones that have unclaimed minerals we might want some day! I really thought we were always working for the greater good of the world. I never thought we might be working for the greater good of corporations.
I lived like this for years in blissful ignorance. I thought of only the good that we do as a country. I never thought of it any other way because we are the best. Our country was always showcased in my mind as the place everyone else wanted to come to and live. Everyone wanted to come to America because we’re so wonderful. The “big daddy” type government was fine with me. In that government the President was like a “daddy” that wanted only the best for HIS children. (Yes, you could say I’m still angry that we don’t have a woman president and who knows if we will ever get one.) All of this thinking about the past is just simple, honest reflection about how stupid I was and how stupid most Americans are when it comes to their government.
I think I began to lose my true innocence over the last ten years. It began with the 2000 election that was ultimately decided by the Supreme Court. That was just wrong. The state should have just counted the votes and recounted just like they have done every other race before and after. I don’t see the Supreme Court running into Alaska to settle the senate race or into Minnesota a few years ago for that senate race. They should have stayed out and that was the beginning of the loss of my true innocence. I realized that my vote really didn’t count. In fact, no votes really mattered because the decision took away everyone’s vote in the country. Bush had an argument that it would do some kind of irreparable harm to the country. The harm actually came from the decision the Supreme Court made. Prior to this I had nothing but respect for the court system, especially the Supreme Court. I wasn’t happy years before during the Clarence Thomas hearings, but once he was sworn in, it really didn’t matter. I respected the court. I didn’t have to like him or his rulings but I could still respect the court. I have lost that respect because of at least two decisions, if not more. The Bush vs. Gore decision was the first and the other case was the 5 to 4 vote that gave corporations some kind of “personhood” where they can spend unlimited money for campaigns. Essentially corporations are more important than people!
After Bush got into office we had September 11th which was another time in our history which comes up with mixed reviews. Many people wanted to do something for the victims and their families. I can remember a fund raiser we did at our middle school. Those fund raisers took place all over the country and even the world. Everyone wanted to help. However some of that charity money wasn’t put to good use. After September 11th President Bush could have done so much for our country. Instead we were told to go shopping and later we found out that little secret that Bush and Condi Rice had known a terrorist attack was eminent all along and didn’t do a thing about it. So what does President Bush do after all of this? He takes us into an illegal war; wire tapping, Guantanamo Bay, torture everything he could think of in the name of “Homeland Security” to keep us safe and terrified. Oh, and yes, he gave us a tax cut! I never thought our country would ever do many of the things that I now know we have done. Innocence is a precious thing. I don’t know that it was all that terrible that I was so gung ho on our country and that I believed in the good of our country. I call that innocence because I only saw the good side of who we are as a nation. Now that my innocence has been shattered, I see many blemishes and warts. The Prince Charming that I thought our country was is really a toad.
It doesn’t stop here. I could blame all the badness on those Republicans but it just isn’t so. On May 31st, 2008 I discovered that my precious Democratic Party could actually steal my primary vote just like the Supreme Court stole all of our votes in 2000. My innocence was really shattered because now I didn’t even have a party to believe in any more. Before I always had hoped that the Democrats would save us from all of the crazy things that had been happening over the last decade. Torture, Guantanamo, illegal searches, wire tapping, it would all be gone! It turns out, I was wrong. The Democrats aren’t any different than the Republicans. The new boss looks just like the old boss! I thought we had two parties but we really just have one. The Republican side is the real conservatives and the Democratic side is conservative. That’s not a real choice for those of us that are more liberal in our thinking.
The loss of my innocence came when I was not a child but a grown woman. You might think I should have known better but truthfully I really didn’t want to think that our government could be that corrupt. Now I come to the Wikeleaks and boy is that interesting. Joe Scarborough wants to send a message and nail Bradley Manning. He wants to send that kid to prison for 25 years. I wonder what happened to innocent until proven guilty. I personally find it hard to believe that some lowly private did this entire computer hacking on his own. Wikileaks revealed the little toad with all the warts that lives in the body of the prince. Our country has some scary things going on. The revelations continue to come out and they don’t make me proud of my country. They also rip off that mask of innocence that I have been hiding under all of these years. I am now the supreme skeptic. I don’t trust much of anything our government does any more. If it’s good for the corporations, our country will probably fight some war, bomb some country or assassinate some foreign leader. Nothing surprises me any more. Innocence may be overrated unless you are some poor kid named Bradley Manning sitting in some jail wondering what’s going to happen to you. I will survive the loss of my innocence but will my country survive the loss of its innocence?
