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Illness and the Pandemic

  • Posted on July 31, 2022 at 12:18 pm

Moving was life changing. I went through 25 years of accumulated stuff from living in Sturgis, 23 at the same home!  I gave things away. I threw things away. I delve through a lifetime of stuff trying to weed out the unnecessary, only to fail a bit because I still have boxes three years later sitting unopened in my garage. So, if you are planning on moving, get rid of more than you are planning.  Moving gave me a clean slate with my home. I could set up each room however I chose not worrying about who I had to please…because I only had to please myself!

I love my new home. I spent a lot fixing up things that needed to be done from roofing, venting, electrical, and fireplace issues. Then I settled into my new home only to find myself moved and in the middle of a pandemic living in a beautiful environment where I didn’t really know anybody. Thankfully, I do have family an hour or so away which kept me sane.

I am used to being by myself. I tend to be a solitary, loner in many ways. I enjoy being alone and finding ways to be creative. I like to make art and write. Drawing, painting, and working with clay are really my loves. I can get lost in time in my own brain which is helpful when faced with the confines of a pandemic. I started using Instacart for shopping and now I prefer it. I really don’t care for grocery shopping as it’s highly overrated!  

In June, I lost a good friend. Ellen died in her sleep. She was only 58 and I will never understand how a healthy person just doesn’t wake up one day. It has been a tragedy that has haunted me for these past two years. She was an amazing person and touched so many people. I worked with her at school. I, of course, was an art teacher and she was a gifted math teacher. My last year teaching, we worked in a group together on some special projects for school. I am so thankful I was in her group. We had a lot of fun in our brainstorming sessions.  Ellen went on a spur of the moment trip with me to look at the house I ended up buying. I had visions of her eventually visiting me on the lake. It never happened. The pandemic happened and then she died. Her death caused me great personal stress. I immediately started having issues, which I tried to deny. I had to go and rest during the day. I felt out of sorts. I tried to walk to the dock and felt dizzy and had to stop and catch myself. In the water, I felt a swirling sensation, like I was going to fall. I thought it was just old age, but it was so much more.

In July, I became deathly ill. Of course, I just thought I would get better. I wasn’t around anyone so I knew it wasn’t Covid. My mail lady even sent the police to check on me because I hadn’t picked up my mail in days. The police came to my dining room window. I had to go down from my bed to see them. I told them I was fine. They said they could get me an ambulance. I said I thought I was getting better. I wasn’t. My sister wanted me to go in. I was resistant. I never doctored much….like next to never. I had only gone once a few years before to the emergency room and it was in the middle of the night and I thought my head was going to explode. I was always told and learned to “tough it out.” There was no toughing this one out. After  listening to my sister, I finally went to the hospital thanks to my brother taking me. I ended up having a complete blockage and a hernia. I spent 10 days in the hospital and had a small section of my intestine removed. It was truly a touch and go time. I was fortunate to finally get the care I needed. I don’t know how much longer I would have lasted with necrotic tissue in my intestines.

Surviving my illness caused me to reevaluate my life. My son came home to help me and it was an eye opener for him. He had never seen his mom in such horrible shape. He was both scared but also angry. Angry because I let myself get to this place. I get that now. I didn’t then. The illness became a blessing in disguise. While in the hospital, they also discovered I have Afib which explains the issues I was having after Ellen died. The symptoms were all part of the Afib diagnosis. Afib is having an abnormal heartbeat, a beat that is not in sinus rhythm. It causes many symptoms including fatigue and dizziness. This diagnosis as well as the hernia and blockage made me realize I needed to change my lifestyle. I began a challenge for myself. I wanted to get healthier. In my next writing, I will tell how I did this and what I am currently doing. I am still amazed at what I have accomplished but there is always more to come, so stay tuned!

My kitchen with Ellen looking at the home I eventually bought!
Just a few of the countless boxes I moved!
A glimpse of my new home!

Retirement

  • Posted on June 14, 2022 at 3:10 pm
Lake Cadillac Beautiful Sunset
Living room Sunset view of Lake Cadillac

I have been neglecting this website for years. Not because of a lack of caring but probably because of life in general. Four years ago I retired from teaching. Since then I have been making some big moves and life changes. I still am interested in art and politics as well as education but life interrupts many ideas and plans.

I had one goal for retirement. I wanted to move to a place where I could have a lake view. I have accomplished that goal.  Originally, I was going to stay around Sturgis as there are beautiful lakes there and I was part of the community. However, after my brother, Zike, moved to Leelanau County from Alaska, I started to want more connections with family. My son had moved to California and I had looked into potentially moving there but sadly I don’t have enough money for California. The housing costs there are ridiculous! I grew up in an extremely large family of fourteen kids. I felt drawn back to get to know my family better. I started thinking about my roots in the Maple City area. One night I realized that my heart yearned for family, so I changed my retirement destination. I looked around Traverse City and the surrounding area. I even considered Big Rapids but not that seriously. Property in the Grand Traverse and Leelanau counties was very difficult to find in a price range I could afford. I was almost going to give up my lake dream as I had sold my home and had around 20 days to find a place to move to. I was still looking at Zillow on my own when a property popped up in Cadillac that made me immediately call my realtor and ask for a viewing. After making plans with my friend, Ellen, we made a quick trip to Cadillac and the rest is history.

Moving was a bit crazy but my brothers, Zike and Bob, were super and helped me get moved. They essentially moved my art/pottery studio and the guys I hired moved my house stuff. Even though I purged a lot of stuff and had given things away….I should have gotten rid of more. Here I am three years later with boxes in my garage that I have not yet unpacked.  However, my home is my dream. I have the view I dreamed of and I love it even in the winter when it is cold and gloomy.  The lake is alive and always reminds me of a breathing being with the ebb and flow of the water. I am proud of my life and what I did not just as a single mom, artist/potter, art teacher, but also as a person making goals.

I am hoping that my story and life appeals to other people and if it does, please feel free to interact with me through comments.

Lake View
View From My Porch

Retirement Here I Come

  • Posted on June 17, 2018 at 11:27 am

mug

Retirement, here I come.  Wow, I have worked so hard for so many years!  It is a little daunting to think that when my fellow teachers are getting ready in August for the next school year, I will be just doing my thing.

This year I wanted things to be special for my students.  I wanted to celebrate my retirement, so I did.  I made it possible for students to win prizes from me.  I did drawings at the end of the school year and around 100 students got prizes.  I gave out everything from special mugs, to art supplies, to my Staples “Easy” button.  It was a lot of fun seeing my students get so many things from me.  I know it sounds crazy, but I really liked giving them something from me.

When I was in second grade, we knew we were moving for the next school year.  My teacher, Mrs. Schmidt, gave me a case for my books.  I treasured that case and she was always my favorite teacher because of her thoughtfulness.  I wanted my students to feel special, just like I felt.

I noticed over the past school year that I was having a brain shift.  Instead of thinking about school all of the time, I started thinking more and more about what I wanted to do in retirement.  The major thing I want to do is get back in my pottery studio and start working again.  However, I also want to work with two dimensional art materials. So, of course, I have been pulling things apart in my home in an effort to eventually make things more streamlined for the things I want to do.  Leaving school was a massive event because I had twenty five years of material built up that I brought from home to donate to the cause.  Art teachers really are the best pack rats around.  We save everything.  Much of that has now come home and I am a bit overwhelmed with the amount of books and things I have saved over the years.  If I was smart, I would pretend I didn’t see any of this and just dump it. However, I love my books and I know there is no way I am going to dump them.  I have a lot of research I have also done with middle school art.  What do I do with that?  Do I add to my other blog and help motivate young teachers?  I have no idea whether I will do that or not.  I just know that I love all things art and I am happy that I will be able to spend days pursuing my own interests in art, whatever they may be.

So, back to the home front here, where do I begin?  I have created this really cool room in the basement for creating two dimensional art but I have a lot of stuff to put away yet and of course I am avoiding that at the moment.  After spending so much time getting the art room ready for the next art teacher, I am so tired of going through “shit”.  Can you blame me?  I guess I will hope that by summer’s end my house is in good art making form.  Seriously, it needs to be before that…but there is so much to do.

I told my son I was thinking of renting a dumpster.  Oh, he was all for that and even suggested that I get rid of some other stuff.  Of course, I have already been thinking that way because some day I still might like to end up at my dream destination of a nice home on a lake!  Nobody wants to move a bunch of stuff they never use!  It all takes organization and drive.  I have little of either at the moment.  I just want to relax and destress from the busy spring I have had.  I just wish I had the strength to move heavy boxes.  It is frustrating as hell to not be as strong as I was when I was younger.  I have to call up friends and ask them to help…so hard for someone like me to do!

So, with all of this on my mind, I had a proud moment when I finally turned in my keys and went home.  I thought about my parents and how proud they would have been of me.  They knew about the $30,000 debt I was left with when I went through the divorce.  They knew that I raised my son from the time he was just two months old….all by myself.  They knew that I struggled at times and didn’t have health insurance for myself while I was out selling pottery to make a living.  They knew that I would do anything for my son, so I went without many things to provide for him.  They knew that when I was considering going back to teaching that it was money always that got in the way.  They loaned me money to make that possible.  They knew that it was also a struggle for me to move away from the comfort of living near them to take this job opportunity down at Sturgis.  They knew that I did everything I could to pay them back all that I owed them.  When I sold my house up north, I paid Daddy back.  Mom, had already passed away by that time.  I owe everything I am to my parents.  They gave me so much in the way of who I really am.  What I believe about the world and people, I owe to them.  Over the years, I was careful with money and figured out ways to build my retirement with what is called that third legged stool.  I owe that whole philosophy to my parents.  I knew I couldn’t retire until I would not a burden for anyone else.  I had a goal in mind that a couple financial planners said I needed to obtain.  I met that goal and knew I would retire this year because of it.  So, when all is said and done, I know my parents would be proud of me.  However, most of us don’t get to have our biggest cheerleaders with us when we retire and especially, not the baby of a large family of fourteen kids!

So, as I move into my retirement, I will eventually get this place organized like I want it.  If you stop in and think I am a bit in disarray, just be patient with me because I am now on retirement time!